A study to look at how we can react to tragic experiences in our lives.

This study uses the Easter story of Jesus in the Garden and before Pilate.

Purpose:

• To show the leaders/girls that there are constrictive and destructive ways to react to tragic experiences in our lives or the lives of those who are close to us (family and friends).

• To examine Jesus' way of reacting and to test His way against our way.

Tools:

• Bible
• One aluminum pie plate for each girl with the following:
• two matches (given out one at a time)
• toothpicks (small supply of toothpicks at a time)
• small store
• glue
• small piece of Kleenex (or aluminum or wax paper if it is safer)

• Flip chart and markers

Step 1:

Ask the girls to take the match and sear or burn any of the other articles (or all of them) on the plate. When this has been done ask them to try and describe a life situation where they feel they or their friends 'have been burned'.

Responses could range anywhere from actual scarring in a fire to being robbed, unjustly accused, or losing a family member due to death, separation, or desertion, etc.

Record responses on flip chart.

Step 2:

Have the girls destroy and break up everything they can on the plate leaving the articles in disarray (as messy as possible) and 'mucked up with glue'.

Looking at the mess ask the girls to describe how the mess compares with the feelings people have when they have been badly hurt.

Possible answers are 'broken, ugly, unsupported, overwhelmed, I'll never get myself back together again, too weak against strong foes, etc.'. If the stone happens to be on top of the broken paper and toothpicks this could elicit thoughts of depression, fear, and burdens (stone's weight on the broken toothpicks).

Step 3:

Read the part of the Easter story in the garden and before Pilate.

Ask the girls to describe how Jesus was 'burned' by his friends, the disciples, the courts, and the crowds.

Have the girls describe Jesus' 'brokenness' (personal agony).

See if the girls will share a time when they or someone they know felt 'broken' . Have them describe the feelings. Record on flip chart.

Point out how quickly the girls were able to crush and break things on the plate. Explain that often we experience a tragedy overnight. (e.g. Jesus betrayed in the garden) which quickly changes the pattern of our lives. Sometimes we make a poor decision (e.g. drinking and driving) and are deformed forever. Life's messes don't always take long to develop. Sometimes we become twisted over a longer period of time (e.g. drug addiction) and at first we hardly see the ugliness developing.

Step 4:

Ask the girls to try and create something beautiful out of the mess they have made. If they find this is totally impossible to do, tell them they may ask for another match, more toothpicks or paper. They may throw away some of the mess and put in replacements but they cannot throw away everything. Some portion of the original must always remain.

Allow no more than 5 minutes for the creation of something beautiful. Ask the girls to describe their beautiful creation and its meaning for them.

Ask which was easier and faster – creating the mess or the beauty? Explain that usually (though not always) it is easier and quicker to make a mess of one's life. Do they agree?

Step 5:

Ask the girls to describe an experience of theirs or of someone they know that turned an ugly experience or habit around so that they became whole (or almost whole). How did they do it? Record the answers on a flip chart.

To elicit answers questions might be asked which derive or provoke these suggestions:

• Person recognized what the real or primary problem was and didn't pretend a secondary problem was more important. They were willing to destroy the real ugliness by converting it to beauty.
• Person wanted to change and was willing and determined to bring change about.
• Person was unafraid to ask for help from reliable and knowledgeable persons. Explain that those who asked for more matches, toothpicks, etc. were calling on outside resources to help build a beautiful structure. They were willing to share their problems.

Read and Discuss

Bible Examples:

1. Jesus in the garden talked his problems out with God, expressed his fears and willingly went through with the plan for crucifixion, ultimately turning his defeat into a victory and a beautiful things.

Stress these points: From God Jesus received both love and trust. He did not receive disapproval, isolation, or criticism.

2. Now read a story from the Bible (i.e. woman at the well, rich your ruler, picking corn on sabbath) and ask the girls to describe Jesus' techniques for dealing the problems of others.

Draw out the following points:

He did not criticize or blame.

He did not reject.

He did not accuse.

He did not avoid.

He did love and accept the wrong doer and/or those who had hurt him personally.

He provided a line of action for the person to follow – e.g. go and sin no more, give what you have to the poor, etc.

He trusted the person so they felt empowered to change.

3. Point out that when we wish to help our friends through rough times we need:

Firstly to accept them and the ugliness they are experiencing.

Secondly, to love them as they are with no recriminations attached.

Thirdly to help them plan a way for change suggesting helpers if we can find them.

Fourthly trust them to do and don't blame if they can't always follow through on a plan.

Love and trust and accepting the problem are important.

Prayer is important – pray for friends during the day.

Share the pain.

Summary:

• We have experiences in life and sometimes we create experiences that make our life a mess.
• Messes and pain and ugliness can happen quickly.
• These messes can be turned around and from them beauty can be created.
• Regardless of our problem God always loves us and is there to listen and to help.
• If we are a friend of someone in trouble we help them create beauty from the mess by giving them love, trust, prayer, ideas, and support for making changes.